“The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.”

“Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.”

“I believe in talking behind peoples' backs. That way, they hear it more than once.”

“If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?”

“If, while watching the sun set on a used-car lot in Los Angeles, you are struck by the parallels between the image and the inevitable fate of humanity, do not, under any circumstance, write it down.”

“Life is something you do when you can’t get to sleep.”

“The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.”