“There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death.”

“Sleep is death without the responsibility.”

“I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don't know won't hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility.”

“In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. ”

“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.”

“Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.”

“Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.”