“I tell you to think black thoughts and you come up with that?!" the lieutenant had screamed. "Is a guinea pig bad? Do you consider a guinea pig the representation of all that is evil?"Maybe... if it's an evil guinea pig.”

“I think guinea pigs are fabulous!!”

“You see these guinea pigs? Well... they'er not dangerous.”

“I am a guinea pig in the laboratory of God.”

“If a potato can produce vitamin C, why can't we? Within the animal kingdom only humans and guinea pigs are unable to synthesize vitamin C in their own bodies. Why us and guinea pigs? No point asking. Nobody knows.”

“I'm some sort of guinea pig in a home economics crash course for werewolves.”

“Why can't the world be simpler, like it is for guinea pigs? They only have a few rules: Crying will get you attention. If it fits in your mouth, it's food. Scream if you don't get your share.”