“As with so many child-related problems, I blame the parents. Many, I’m afraid, are simply too lazy, too stupid or too uncaring to cook properly; it’s much easier to shovel sugary, salty ‘convenience food’ into your kids from an early age. Food habits are built early in life and a poor start is impossible, or at least extremely difficult, to correct, once an addiction has set in.”

“Far too many incidents are simply brushed under the carpet, as it is much easier to hold meetings and presentations than support those teachers below them who are trying to improve discipline.”

“It’s a red letter day, too: the new set of science textbooks hasfinally arrived.This may not seem much to you but I feel like bringing inchampagne to celebrate or asking the Head for a half day’s holiday.In the past, we have shared one dirty, dog-eared textbook betweentwo or even three children and it’s a book which doesn’t even coverthe right topics for our syllabus.These new ones are written by the people who set the exam, sothey must cover the relevant stuff.The Head of Department arrives carrying the books and handsthem out to the kids, handling them with great reverence.‘These books are brand new,’ he intones solemnly, placing oneneatly on my desk. ‘They must be treated with great respect and careso that others may use them in the future.”

“Some teachers genuinely seem to believe that the politically correct nonsense that the kids should not be punished. Others are simpleminded and have allowed themselves to be brainwashed until they believe this.Most,I suspect, are simply worn down by years watching standards slide while being told there was they could,or should, do about it.”

“The lack of ability of those in charge to get a grip on a situation, and to take immediate, decisive action rather than simply debate everything endlessly, is one of the major problems in the State education system.”

“As he drones on, I examine one of the books. It has that pleasantsmell of newly-printed paper and, like all modern textbooks, is amasterpiece of political correctness. It is chock-full of brightpictures of children from ethnic minority backgrounds doing scienceexperiments and photographs of every kind of phenomena. Even theteachers are in wheelchairs. Any wrongdoing is illustrated by a whiteboy; here is one, foolishly sticking his fork into an electrical socketand being electrocuted. Here’s another, drinking from a test tube.What I cannot find, to my mounting horror as I flip through thebook, are any questions.Oh, bloody hell!Why are all modern textbooks in every subject full ofphotographs but devoid of questions?I also notice that, actually, it doesn’t quite seem to cover thesyllabus to which we have recently changed after the head ofdepartment assured us that it was ‘the easiest one yet’.”

“PE teachers are usually very good with the kids because they don't muck about.”