“I have been to lots of partiesand acted perfectly disgracefulbut I never actually collapsedoh Lana Turner we love you get up”

“Poem (Lana Turner has collapsed!) Lana Turner has collapsed!I was trotting along and suddenlyit started raining and snowingand you said it was hailingbut hailing hits you on the headhard so it was really snowing andraining and I was in such a hurryto meet you but the trafficwas acting exactly like the skyand suddenly I see a headlineLANA TURNER HAS COLLAPSED!there is no snow in Hollywoodthere is no rain in CaliforniaI have been to lots of partiesand acted perfectly disgracefulbut I never actually collapsedoh Lana Turner we love you get up”

“I've never been able to grow an organ back," Lana said. "Last time I tried... Let's just hope you don't end up with whip eyes.”

“You are so lucky to have each other. I've never actually seen a man love a woman as much as he loves you, Sarah. I love your father and he loves me. We have survived a lot of things, but I know in my heart of hearts our love is not as intense as yours.”

“I get a lot of big ideas, and occasionally I actually come up with one myself.”

“Mom's eyes blazed. "Are you sleeping with her?"Oh, god. Did we have to do this here? Now? "Well, actually," I smirked, "we don't get a lot of sleep.”