“Books Are Good For Lots Of Uses, Not For Dropping In The Toilet.”
“The New York Times Review of Books is toilet paper. Used.”
“I want to publish a book on toilet paper—not only about toilet paper, but actually print it on toilet paper. That way nobody will be surprised by how shitty my book is.”
“She reads a lot of books. Good things, books.”
“He then asked he president to stop funding wells and toilets and use the money to buy grain. (Because really, how can you use a toilet if you never eat?)”
“I had sex," Drew said with a grin. "Lot's and lots and lots of sex... Hey, no use in good energy going to waste.”