“I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.”

“I think it's really tragic when people get serious about stuff. It's such an absurdity to take anything really seriously ... I make an honest attempt not to take anything seriously: I worked that attitude out about the time I was eighteen, I mean, what does it all mean when you get right down to it, what's the story here? Being alive is so weird.”

“behind each breakaway movement is a breakaway demagogue who will set up his breakaway demagogue government.”

“Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read.”

“I'm vile and perverted. I'm obsessed and deranged.I've existed for years but very little has changed.I'm the tool of the government and industry too.For I'm destined to rule and regulate you.You may think I'm pernicious, but you can't look away.I'll make you think I'm delicious with the stuff that I say.I'm the best you can get... have you guessed me yet?I'm the slime oozing out of your TV set....”

“Anybody who wants religion is welcome to it, as far as I'm concerned--I support your right to enjoy it. However, I would appreciate it if you exhibited more respect for the rights of those people who do not wish to share your dogma, rapture, or necrodestination.”

“I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're cute, maybe you're beautiful. I just want to tell you somethin' — there's more of us UGLY MOTHERFUCKERS than you are, hey-y, so watch out.”