“I wrote a song about dental floss but did anyone's teeth get cleaner?”

“I think it's really tragic when people get serious about stuff. It's such an absurdity to take anything really seriously ... I make an honest attempt not to take anything seriously: I worked that attitude out about the time I was eighteen, I mean, what does it all mean when you get right down to it, what's the story here? Being alive is so weird.”

“There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another.”

“The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has a medieval aroma, like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball...I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a person could get excited about playing the bassoon.”

“Anyone who is disturbed by the idea of newts in a nightclub is potentially dangerous.”

“My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.”

“Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.”