“One size does not fit all.”

“Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?”

“There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another.”

“I think it's really tragic when people get serious about stuff. It's such an absurdity to take anything really seriously ... I make an honest attempt not to take anything seriously: I worked that attitude out about the time I was eighteen, I mean, what does it all mean when you get right down to it, what's the story here? Being alive is so weird.”

“Anything Anytime Anyplace For No Reason At All (or AAAFNRAA)”

“The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own”“Stupidity has a certain charm - ignorance does not”“My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can”“It would be easier to pay off the national debt overnight than to neutralize the long-range effects of our national stupidity”“Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.”

“All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.”