“Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.”

“The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own”“Stupidity has a certain charm - ignorance does not”“My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can”“It would be easier to pay off the national debt overnight than to neutralize the long-range effects of our national stupidity”“Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.”

“Anything Anytime Anyplace For No Reason At All (or AAAFNRAA)”

“If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”

“The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.”

“Art is making something out of nothing, and selling it.”

“All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.”