“Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.”

“Music without the ebb and flow would be like "watching a film with only good guys in it".”

“The Ultimate Rule ought to be: 'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchin'; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's shitty. The more your musical experience, the easier it is to define for yourself what you like and what you don't like. American radio listeners, raised on a diet of _____ (fill in the blank), have experienced a musical universe so small they cannot begin to know what they like.”

“The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has a medieval aroma, like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball...I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a person could get excited about playing the bassoon.”

“Most people don't bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom.”

“Music is the only religion that delivers the goods.”

“I wrote a song about dental floss but did anyone's teeth get cleaner?”