“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to be well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.”

“A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.”

“You only live once. But if you work it right, once is enough.”

“Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.”

“A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.”

“I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.”

“Televisio is a vehicle that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.”