“A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.”

“a group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done”

“Televisio is a vehicle that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.”

“A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.”

“I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.”

“You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart.”

“I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.”