“A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.”

“Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. ”

“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to be well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.”

“I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.”

“Televisio is a vehicle that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.”

“I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.”

“a group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done”