“Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.”

“Televisio is a vehicle that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.”

“a group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done”

“A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.”

“All I know about humour is that I don't know anything about it.”

“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to be well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.”

“A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.”