“Televisio is a vehicle that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.”

“a group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done”

“A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.”

“I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.”

“Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.”

“All I know about humour is that I don't know anything about it.”

“A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.”