“There are vampires and vampires, and not all of them suck blood.”

“Vampires, real vampires, didn't nibble on the necks of nubile young virgins. They tore people to pieces and sucked the blood out of the chunks. ”

“You've made vampire spiders?"Now it was her turn to wonder if her was serious. He should know that was't a possibility."They don't transform, just as animals and insects don't if they drink vampire blood""Can you imagine vampire mosquitoes? Or immortal, blood-sucking ants who make you feel all sexy when they bite”

“Daimons, vampires, ghouls, whatever you want to call them. They suck your blood and your soul and leave you with nothing. Kind of like lawyers. (Selena)”

“Get to the Point: Vampire Contributions in Western Architecture. Fangs and Balances: Vampire Politicians in History. To Drink or Not to Drink: A Vampire Dialectic. Blood Sausage, Blood Stew, Blood Orange: Food for All Seasons. And the awfully named Plasmatlas, which contained maps of important vampire locales.”

“Dude, you're a vampire. EVERY day sucks for you.”