“People generally quarrel because they cannot argue.”

“How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No. A woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.”

“But if you cannot at once laugh at a thing or believe in it, you have no business in the Middle Ages. Or in the world for that matter.”

“In the modern world, we are primarily confronted with the extraordinary spectacle of people turning to new ideals because they have not tried the old. Men have not gotten tired of Christianity; they have never found enough Christianity to get tired of. Men have never wearied of political justice; they have wearied of waiting for it.”

“A man is angry at a libel because it is false, but at a satire because it is true.”

“Men did not love Rome because she was great. She was great because they had loved her.”

“You cannot evade the issue of God, whether you are talking about pigs or the binomial theory...Things can be irrelevant to the proposition that Christianity is false, but nothing can be irrelevant to the proposition that Christianity is true.”