“Alexia, did you know there is an entire regiment decamping on your front lawn?Laddy Maccon sighed. "Really, Ivy, I would never have noticed.”

“Ah, Lady Maccon, how lovely. I did wonder when you would track us down.” “I was unavoidably delayed by husbands and Ivys,” explained Alexia. “These things, regrettably, are bound to occur when one is married and befriended.”

“Really, Channing,” remonstrated Alexia, “did you have to eat the man’s dog? I am convinced you will experience terrible indigestion.”

“Alexia suspected Lord Maccon's handling was a tad more than was strictly called for under the circumstances, but she secretly enjoyed the sensation. After all, how often did a spinster of her shelf life get manhandled by an earl of Lord Maccon's peerage? She had better take advantage of the situation.”

“I love him so very much. As Romeo did Jugurtha, as Pyramid did Thirsty, as-""Oh, please, no need to elaborate further," interjected Alexia, wincing."But what would my family SAY to such a union?""They would say that yours hats had leaked into your head," muttered Alexia, unheard under her breath.”

“Someone was trying to kill Lady Alexia Maccon. It was most inconvenient, as she was in a dreadful hurry. Given her previous familiarity with near-death experiences and their comparative frequency with regards to her good self, Alexia should probably have allowed extra time for such a predictable happenstance.”

“Ah, Ivy, thought Alexia happily, spreading a verbal fog wherever she goes.”