“I'd probably put those salt and pepper shakers away now, David, because we're about to be visited by dribbling cannibal psychopath and we wouldn't want to tease these fellows. Of course, if they're very hungry, I do have this left arm that I don't use all that much. ”

“Our advertising and even our arts convey the idea that we [Americans] as a society are brash, irreverent, and free of all constraint, when the best available evidence would suggest that we are in fact tame, spayed, and easily brought to heel. ”

“If God came to India, he'd have to come as bread. If God came to Willoughby union he'd have to came as what?”

“Everyone believes in sin, the people who charge their peers with political incorrectness and the people who regard political correctness as the bogey of a little mind. What everyone does not believe in, as nearly as I can tell, is forgiveness.”

“My master gives me bread and beer and every good thing.”

“So beer is our bread?”

“I'd love it if the first time I spent the night with a girl it was because she was tired," James says. "I'd love it if it were you.”