“He was admired for never being at a loss for words and never wasting any either.”

“Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”

“A good newspaper is never good enough, but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.”

“Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.”

“I used to think that kid might become a preacher. Now I don't see how he's going to stay out of prison. Nobody in this family ever went to prison for sex crimes. He'd be the first."Yes," says Jesus, "you never know about these things."He and Grandpa are drinking cups of coffee and eating ginger snaps. Grandpa says, "When are you planning to return to earth?"Soon as I finish this coffee," say Jesus. "Pretty good, isn't it.”

“Lutherans don't hold bingo games in the church basement. Lutherans are against fun in general, which is why for them, birth control has never been a big issue.”

“Know the quiet place within your heart and touch the rainbow of possibility; be alive to the gentle breeze of communication, and please stop being such a jerk.”