“Lutherans don't hold bingo games in the church basement. Lutherans are against fun in general, which is why for them, birth control has never been a big issue.”

“Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.”

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”

“You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.”

“My generation was secretive, brooding, ambitious, show-offy, and this generation is congenial. Totally. I imagine them walking around with GPS chips that notify them when a friend is in the vicinity, and their GPSes guide them to each other in clipped electronic lady voices and they sit down side by side in a coffee shop and text-message each other while checking their e-mail and hopping and skipping around Facebook to see who has posted pictures of their weekend.”

“Life is unjust and this is what makes it so beautiful. Every day is a gift. Be brave and take hold of it.”

“When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.”