“When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.”

“You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.”

“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.”

“Life is unjust and this is what makes it so beautiful. Every day is a gift. Be brave and take hold of it.”

“Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.”

“Lutherans don't hold bingo games in the church basement. Lutherans are against fun in general, which is why for them, birth control has never been a big issue.”

“A person cannot coast along in old destructive habits year after year and accept whatever comes along. A person must stand up on her own two legs and walk. Get off the bus and go get on another. Climb out of the ditch and cross the road. Find the road that s where you want to go. ... The only sermon that counts is the one that is formed by our actions. She would quit drinking and thereby show Kyle life is what you make it. A person can grab hold of her life and change things for the better. This happens all the time. We are not chips of wood drifting down the stream of time. We have oars.”