“If you put that straight jacket on me, I am going to pull your endocrine system out of your body.”

“You know what 'FEAR' stands for? It stands for 'False Evidence Appearing Real.' It's the darkroom where Satan develops his negatives.”

“the problem is, my dad died while fighting in vietnam. he got hit head on with a cooked grenade. his head blew through his big toe... may he rest in pieces.”

“Have a mind that's open to everything, get attached to nothing.”

“Can you hover over your body for a while and peer beyond the fog that imbues the mind and sense the essence of a deeper you?”

“Let me just say it out loud so we can laugh together: You're going to find Johnny Depp, take him back to Vahalal, and put him in a zoo?”

“We may not be a great power anymore, we may be into you for sixty-five trillion yuan-pegged, but we're not afraid to use our troops if our spades act up, so watch out, or we'll go fucking nuclear on your yellow asses if you try to cash in your chips.”