“Writing is to copyediting what swimming is to pool maintenance.”

“If you're Microsoft, you can prevent a porn site using microsoft.xxx. Although that would be ironic since micro and soft probably aren't at the forefront of desirable concepts when you're looking for porn.”

“A dead man fell from the sky, landing at my feet with a thud.”

“Back in the days when gladiators hacked away at each other, there was always the man who decided whether the defeated should live or die. The job is usually given to the Emperor in movies, but in fact any senior man could have been the designated thumbs-up-thumbs-down guy. The official title for this fellow was...the editor. (evil laughter in background)”

“Great Brown Bear is walking with us, Salmon swimming upstream with us, as we stroll a city street.”

“You always hear a headline like this, 'Man Killed By Shark', you never hear it from the other perspective, 'Man Swims in Shark Infested Waters, Forgets He's Shark Food'.”

“I was the first Chicano to write in complete sentences.”