“If Mrs. Baker Hates your guts, why don't get some.”

“A comedy isn't about being funny," said Mrs. Baker. "We talked about this before.""A comedy is about character who dare to know that they may choose a happy ending after all. That's how I know.""Suppose you can't see it?""That's the daring part," said Mrs. Baker.”

“And it really doesn't matter if we're under our desks with our hands over our heads or not, does it? No, said Mrs. Baker. It doesn't really matter. So, why are we practicing? She thought for a minute. Because it gives comfort, she said. People like to think that if they're prepared then nothing bad can really happen. And perhaps we practice because we feel as if there's nothing else we can do because sometimes it feels as if life is governed by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.”

“There's no pleasure in getting to be an old coot unless you have some fun along the way.”

“One day we ran all the way to Jones Beach, and if Mrs. Sidman hadn't sent a bus after us, I think we would have collapsed on the boardwalk and died.”

“Mrs. Daugherty was keeping my bowl of cream of wheat hot, and she had a special treat with it, she said. It was bananas.In the whole story of the world, bananas have never once been a special treat.”

“I handed the test in five minutes before the end of the day. Mrs. Baker took it calmly, then reached into her bottom drawer for an enormous red pen with a wide felt tip. "Stand here and we'll see how you've done," she said, which is sort of like a dentist handing you a mirror and saying, "Sit here and watch while I drill a hole in your tooth.”