“I'm not sure this is a world I belong in anymore. I'm not sure that I want to wake up.”
This quote encapsulates a profound sense of disconnection and existential doubt. It reflects the speaker's struggle with identity and purpose in a world that feels increasingly alien.
At its core, the first part of the quote, "I'm not sure this is a world I belong in anymore," suggests feelings of isolation and a yearning for belonging. This sentiment can stem from various experiences, such as trauma, loss, or a significant change in circumstances. It underscores the emotional turmoil that can occur when one's internal state no longer aligns with external realities.
The continuation, "I'm not sure that I want to wake up," deepens this existential crisis. It conveys a weariness with life itself, hinting at a potential desire to escape from the struggles of reality. This phrase can resonate with those who have faced overwhelming challenges, raising questions about the value of waking up to a world that feels unwelcoming or painful.
Collectively, the quote invites readers to explore themes of belonging, identity, and the human condition. It serves as a poignant reminder of the complexities of mental health and the importance of support systems in navigating these thoughts and feelings. Through Forman's words, we are encouraged to acknowledge our vulnerabilities and seek connections that affirm our existence in a world that sometimes feels unforgiving.
“Are you coming down with something?" Mom asks.And just for the tiniest of seconds, I wonder what would happen if I told them the truth. That school is nothing like I imagined it would be. That I'm not the girl in the catalog at all. I'm not a Happy College Student. I don't know who I am. Or maybe I do know who I am and I just don't want to be her anymore.”
“I'm the one shot, the heir and the spare, so you have to make damn sure your one investment pays off because there's no backup.”
“So, this is how it's become? This is how I've become? A walking contradiction? I'm surrounded by people and feel alone. I claim to crave a bit of normalcy but now that I have some, it's like I don't know what to do with it, I don't know how to be a normal person anymore.”
“I don't know who I am. Or maybe I do know who I am and I just don't want to be her anymore.”
“How am I supposed to decide this? How can I possibly stay without mom and dad? How can I leave without Teddy? Or Adam? This is too much. I don’t even understand how it all works, why I’m here in the state that I’m in or how to get out of it if I wanted to. If I were to say, I want to wake up, would I wake up right now? I’ve already tried snapping my heels to find Teddy and tried to beam myself to Hawaii, and that didn’t work. This seems a whole lot more complicated. But in spite of that, I believe it’s true. I hear the nurse’s words again. I am running the show. Everyone’s waiting on me. I decide. I know this now. And this terrifies me more than anything else that has happened today.”
“Little pinpricks fire-cracker up and down my body. Just calm down, I tell myself. You just make her nervous showing up all out of the blue like that. Still, I'm flattered that I matter-- even if it's just enough to scare her.”