“Abigail,’ he says. ‘I thought it was you.’‘Hi!’ I say loudly. ‘Mark!’‘Who?’ says Robert. Fuck, he doesn’t know his real name. Why do I give everyone stupid nicknames?‘I almost don’t recognise you out of your SKINNY JEANS,’ I enunciate carefully. He’s wearing grey flannel trousers and a pink T-Shirt with leather Converses. He speaks clothes exceptionally confidently for a straight man. I wonder if he’d take me shopping.‘Oh, right. Got it.’‘That’s odd,’ says Skinny Jeans. ‘Since I was wearing nothing at all when you left my room without saying goodbye . . . let’s see, seven weeks ago?’‘Um, yes. Well, you know . . .’ I trail off. Come on, Robert, I think desperately.‘I’m sorry, were you planning on making me breakfast in bed?’ says Robert. Yes! Make a joke!‘I’m sorry, were you planning on making me breakfast in bed?’ I say.Skinny Jeans grins.‘Scrambled eggs? Toast? On a little tray?’‘Scrambled eggs? Toast? On a little tray with a rose on it?’ I say.‘Don’t fuck with my script,’ says Robert, which makes me grin slightly more broadly”

Gemma Burgess

Gemma Burgess - “Abigail,’ he says. ‘I thought it was...” 1

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