“To say I didn't have great luck in the guy department was like saying Ryan Seacrest didn't have great luck in the height department: total understatement.”

“I didn't point out that Courtney and I were hardly BFFs. In Mom's world everyone under the age of eighteen was friends with everyone else, like we were all part of some secret society of minors.”

“Bull-fluff. You didn't break up with a girlfriend of a whole year because of stuff.”

“I'll go," he said."And that's safer because?""I'm a guy.""Right, and having a pair of dingle balls makes you invincible how?”

“Why is it that when someone says "trust me", I always feel less inclined to do so?”

“Okay, if there's one thing you don't ever say to a woman on the edge it's that she's hormonal.”

“Our bodies are our temples. They should have a little more respect for themselves than that.”“You know, I could have sworn I saw you shoveling Cheetos into your temple last week.”“Oh, but I’m pretty sure those were nonfat,” Kaylee piped up.Oh brother.”