“William untucked the covers and stood, making a mental list of everything he'd need for the coming trip. A few blades, serrated and non serrated. A vial of acid. A bone saw. A spiked paddle. A cat-o'-nine-tails. And a bag of Gummy Bears.”

“Strider: Red hots dude. He'd ruin anything for a mouthful of those. Now pull over.William: Gummy Bears. You should have said so.”

“Strider: "Pull Over," he commanded."What?" William flicked him a now's-not-the-time-to-joke glance. "We just got a little peace and quiet and you want to ruin it all just to piss? You're such a baby.""Red Hots, dude." He'd ruin ANYTHING for a mouthful of those. "Now pull the fuck over.""Oh, Gummy Bears. You should have said so.”

“Kaia tossed Strider a shut-your-mouth frown before bouncing in her seat. "Do I get to help? Can I? You may not know this, but I'm very handy with a blade of any kind, a hacksaw, a whip, a-""Hey! Someone went through my bag," William said."So?" Kaia continued, as if William hadn't spoken. "Whatever the weapon, I'm good with it."He would not be impressed. "We won't be using weapons. We'll be smashing jugulars.""Oh, oh! We can play Who Can Smash More!""No, we can't because you can't help," Stider said at the same time William blurted out, "I'd be disappointed if you didn't help.”

“Dangerous as a lightning strike, as lethal as a pair of crisscrossing short swords, William whispered, “You’re about to find out how your liver tastes, my friend.”“I have tasted it already,” Zacharel said, his voice its usual monotone. The snowflakes began to fall in earnest, tiny at first, but growing in diameter. An arctic wind blustered around him. “It was a bit salty.”How the hell was a guy supposed to respond to that?Apparently William didn’t know, either, because he gaped at the angel. Then, “Maybe if you added a little pepper?”O-kay. It was official. William had an answer for everything.”

“Replies began arriving seconds after he pressed send, and soon every single one of the warriors (besides William) had agreed to come home.Take me out of your address book, William”

“People stared. Maybe because they were giants compared to everyone else, both in height and muscle mass. Maybe because of the telltale bulge of weapons at their waist. Or maybe because William opened a bag of Doritos and ate while he shopped. Hard to tell.”