“He (recently-appointed and new-to-command Robert E Lee) will be timid in the irresolute in action.”

“Despite what some people have said, President Bush did not want black people to die in New Orleans. However, he did hope they would not relocate to any areas of Texas that he likes to frequent.”

“The hand is thought of as the slave of action. But the slave of action is the master of expression.”

“I continued toward Atlanta with a Merle Haggard C.D. playing on the stereo. They weren't great hosts, but those guys in The Ted Kaczynski Fan Club had great taste in music. It was all classic country music- none of that sissy, boy-band country that they played on the radio all the time. I drove down the road while Merle preferred to just stay where he was and drink.”

“It was your fault I fell," I accused."Hardly! I was twenty feet away.""Well, you're really hard to miss.”

“I turned on Fox News and jumped when I saw that they had one of those things in their studio. "Are you people crazy?" I screamed at the television. "Get out of there. Somebody shoot it!" Then I realized I was watching Special Report and had mistaken Charles Krauthammer for a zombie.”

“When it comes to matters of the heart, rules don't matter.”