“I find it easy to forgive the man who invented a devilish instrument like dynamite, but how can one ever forgive the diabolical mind that invented the Nobel Prize in Literature?”

“One man that has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't.”

“Gentle Jesus, meek and mild' is a snivelling modern invention, with no warrant in the gospels.”

“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.”

“Forgive him, for he believes that the customs of his tribe are the laws of nature!”

“The English are not a very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity. ”

“It is easy - terribly easy - to shake a man's faith in himself. To take advantage of that to break a man's spirit is devil's work.”