“Oh, well, if you want original conversations, you'd better go and talk to yourself.”

“If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.”

“Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.”

“Well, upon my soul! You are not ashamed to stand there and confess yourself a disgusting drunkard.”

“Literature is too full of 'acknowledgments' and squabbles about originality...”

“I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.”

“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.”