“When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.”

“Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”

“All great truths begin as blasphemies.”

“No use slaving for me and then saying you want to be cared for: who cares for a slave? If you come back, come back for the sake of good fellowship; for you’ll get nothing else.”

“That is the injustice of a woman's lot. A woman has to bring up her children; and that means to restrain them, to deny them things they want, to set them tasks, to punish them when they do wrong, to do all the unpleasant things. And then the father, who has nothing to do but pet them and spoil them, comes in when all her work is done and stealstheir affection from her.”

“Only in books has mankind known perfect truth, love and beauty.”

“My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.”