“Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”

“I thought to myself, 'why not write a bestseller?' In the first place, more people buy them and more people read them. You make more money and it doesn’t take any more time to write a bestseller than it does to write a book nobody buys.”

“Money is the root of all evil.' Then we hear, 'A fool and his money are soon parted.' What are they talking about? If money is so evil, shouldn't it be, 'A wise man and his money are soon parted'? And another thing, how does a fool get money in the first place? I know some fools who have a lot of money, but they won't tell me how they got it, and I won't tell them.”

“Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist. ”

“You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.”

“Sincerity - if you can fake that, you've got it made.”

“Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made. ”