“I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate. ”

“I'd rather be a failure in something that I love than a success in something that I hate.”

“I thought to myself, 'why not write a bestseller?' In the first place, more people buy them and more people read them. You make more money and it doesn’t take any more time to write a bestseller than it does to write a book nobody buys.”

“I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.”

“I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.”

“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”

“I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.”