“Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom”

“I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.”

“I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect. ”

“Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. ”

“Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason”

“So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.”

“I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand; a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.”