“Electricity is really just organized lightning”

“Atheism is a non-prophet organization.”

“When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.”

“Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.”

“Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.”

“Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.”

“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”