“Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.”

“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.”

“Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.”

“I am a personal optimist but a skeptic about all else. What may sound to some like anger is really nothing more than sympathetic contempt. I view my species with a combination of wonder and pity, and I root for its destruction. And please don't confuse my point of view with cynicism; the real cynics are the ones who tell you everything's gonna be all right.”

“Scratch a cynic and you'll find a disappointed idealist.”

“Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.”

“You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble.”