“Sports fans eat shit.”

“It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot.”

“Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?”

“Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.”

“I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker.”

“I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.”

“I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade”