“THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.”

“Your ideas suck""So does my mouth. Why don't you get your dick over here and I'll demonstrate.”

“Do you prefer to be called Richard or Dick?” “Ric.” “Dick? I'll make a note of that on your file.” I spoke aloud as I wrote. “Patient prefers to be called Dick.”

“Maybe YOU should suck my fuckin' dick. Then we'll see who's GAY.”

“I told him to stop being so bossy.He told me I sucked bossy dick and never complained unless I wasn't getting my way, so I needed to get over it.Of course, at this, my head nearly exploded.”

“Girl, you better stop apologizing to me. I’m just glad you’re all right. Now, here is Master Jax’s number. You need to call him. He has gone to your house looking for you. I ain’t never seen the boy all worked up and worried as he was when you didn’t show. Don’t you worry about a thing, and call him, please, before he gets the police searching for you.”