“When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.”

“My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. I'm fuckin' serious!”

“I hate Dr Phil. Dr Phil told me to express my feelings, so I'm expressing them.”

“There's also way too much religion in the South to be consistent with good mental health.Still, I love traveling down there, especially when I'm in the mood for a quick trip to the thirteenth century. I'm not someone who buys into all that 'New South' shit you hear; I judge a place by the number of lynchings they've had, overall.”

“I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.”

“I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.”

“I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.”