“Pissing is the least of my talents. You ought to see me shit”

“My sister has mistaken me for a mushroom. She keeps me in the dark and feeds me shit.”

“The singers make much of kings who valiantly die in battle, but your life is worth more than a sword. To me at least, who gave it to you.”

“Neither's the one you get, less you want me to see if your apple's ripe, yet. - Yoren”

“Silver’s sweet and gold’s our mother, but once you’re dead they’re worth less than that last shit you take as you lie dying.”

“I want to make my kingdom beautiful, to fill it with fat men and pretty maids and laughing children. I want my people to smile when they see me ride by, the way Viserys said they smiled for my father. (Daenerys)”

“Who do you think our champion will be today? Have you seen Mace Tyrell's boy? The Knight of Flowers, they call him. Now there's a son any man would be proud to own to. Last tourney, he dumped the Kingslayer on his golden rump, you ought to have seen the look on Cersei's face. I laughed till my sides hurt.”