“The longer he lived, the more Tyrion realized that nothing was simple and little was true.”

“Remember, whatever the price...I'll beat it! I like living!Tyrion Lannister”

“He did not know whether he ought to be delighted or terrified. Perhaps a smidge of both." - Tyrion”

“Little redcape," he snarled, "when next you bare steel on Shagga son of Dolf, I will chop off your manhood and roast it in the fire.""What, no goats?" Tyrion said, taking a bite of his cheese.”

“one naked girl with a mud up to her knees could not seem to take her eyes off Tyrion. She has never seen a dwarf before, he realized, much less a dwarf without a nose. He made a face and stuck his tongue out and the girl began to cry”

“If you do shit gold, Father, find a privy and get busy, he wanted to say, but he knew better. --Tyrion Lannister”

“The city?" Tyrion was lost. "What city would that be?""King's Landing. I am sending you to court." It was the last thing Tyrion Lannister would ever have anticipated. He reached for his wine, considered for a moment as he sipped. "And what am I to do there?""Rule," his father said curtly.”