“Because, as someone who does feng shui for a living, there's no way I could do my feng shui if I was whacked out on crack, because my business is about discerning energy fields, and if you're cracked up, or on pot, or even if you've had too much coffee, the energy field gets all wonky, believe me, I know used to smoke!”

“Sensitive," I tried.Sam translated: "Squishy.""Creative.""Dangerously emo.""Thoughtful.""Feng shui."I laughed so hard I snorted. "How do you get feng shui out of 'thoughtful'?""You know, because in feng shui, you arrange furniture and plants and stuff in thoughtful ways." Sam shrugged. "To make you calm. Zenlike. Or something. I'm not one hundred percent sure how it all works, besides the thoughtful part.”

“Sam:"Okay, what words would you use then?" I leaned back in the seat, thinking, as Sam looked at me doubtfully. He was right to look doubtful. My head didn't work with words very well- at least not in this abstract, descriptive sort of way.Grace:"Sensitive" I tried.Sam translated: "Squishy"Grace:"Creative"Sam:"Dangerously emo"Grace:"Thoughtful"Sam:"Feng shui."I laughed so hard I snorted.Grace:"How did you get feng shui out of thoughtful?"Sam:"You know, because in feng shui, you arrange funiture and plants and stuff in thoughtful ways.”

“How do you get 'feng shui' out of 'thoughtful'?”

“My view on feng shui: don’t put your bed in front of your door because you won’t get in.”

“And I don't know, it is one thing to look out a window, but when you are Out, actually Out, that is something very powerful, and how embarrassing was that, because I could not help it, I went down flat on my gut checking out those flowers, and the feeling of the one I chose was like the silk on that Hermes jacket I could never seem to get Reserved because Vance was always hogging it, except the flower was even better, it being very smooth and built in like layers? With the outside layer being yellow, and inside that a white thing like a bell, and inside the white bell-like thing were fifteen (I counted) smaller bell-like red things, and inside each red thing was an even smaller orange two-dingly-thing combo.”

“I couldn't practice feng shui if I didn't believe in it, and I wouldn't believe in it if I hadn't seen it work.”