“I made international news by giving Misty [May-Treanor] a playful slap on the back--a little north of the traditional target.”

“The U.S. hundred is the international currency of bad shit, Hollis, and by the same token the number one target of counterfeiters.”

“People accepted the worst from each other, screaming and slapping. Divorce and abortion were never a plot option. If this was love or just inertia, Misty couldn't tell.”

“I want to reach in my pants, pull out my virginity, wrap it up and put a bow on it. Or maybe stick it in a gift bag from Target and give it to him like a present with a nice card that says, "Thank you for being you! Just a little virginity to show you may gratitude!”

“Tradition is the living faith of the dead, traditionalism is the dead faith of the living. And, I suppose I should add, it is traditionalism that gives tradition such a bad name.”

“Ourchestra:So you haven't got a drum, just beat your belly.So I haven't got a horn-I'll play my nose.So we haven't any cymbals-We'll just slap our hands together,And though there may be orchestrasThat sound a little betterWith their fancy shiny instrumentsThat cost an awful lot-Hey, we're making music twice as goodBy playing what we've got!”