“We stared at the odd garment and wondered what it was for. 'What is it?' asked Larry at length. 'It's a bathing costume, of course,' said Mother. 'What on earth did you think it was?' 'It looks like a badly skinned whale,' said Larry, peering at it closely.”

“He glanced about him to make sure we weren't overheard, leaned forward, and whispered, 'He collects stamps.'The family looked bewildered.'You mean he's a philatelist?' said Larry at length.'No, no, Master Larrys,' said Spiro. 'He's not one of them. He's a married man and he's gots two childrens.”

“Why keep in touch with them? That's what I want to know,' asked Larry despairingly. 'What satisfaction does it give you? They're all either fossilized or mental.' 'Indeed, they're not mental,' said Mother indignantly.'Nonsense, Mother... Look at Aunt Bertha, keeping flocks of imaginary cats... and there's Great-Uncle Patrick, who wanders about nude and tells complete strangers how he killed whales with a penknife...They're all bats.”

“Larry Bird looks like a bird, and Johnny Vagina looks like—hey, what is that in the sky?
”

“Larry's zombie bag was a nearly virulent green with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on it. I was almost afraid to ask what his vampire bag looked like.”

“Life's a bitch,” I said.“And then you die,” Larry finished for me.”