“It's for the hamster that I'm gonna buy! This is so perfect!(after opening a hamster wheel at Christmas)”

“If you're gonna buy me a present, don't spend more than twenty five bucks, you'll get a blowjob anyway.”

“I know something you don't....and that is.... I'M NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR! We're gonna get sexy for a minute!”

“So how was Christmas for you guys? Did you all get lots of nice black t-shirts?”

“The world is gonna try to clean you up, what the f**k you gonna do about it? You're gonna say, "I wanna stay ugly".”

“You're gonna be going to rock shows for the rest of your natural life right ladies?. You're gonna see sleezy ass rockbands. They're gonna come up to you and ask you, to show your tits for a backstage pass. You know what I want you to fucking do? I want you to spit right in their FUCKING FACE.”

“I drink juice when I'm killin' cause it's f**king delicious!”