“One time, Bert and I were making out for so long it wasn't even funny..But then it was funny.”

“I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin”

“It was funny, Grey thought. Not funny ha-ha, but funny strange, the whole idea of time. He'd thought it was one thing but it was actually another. It wasn't a line but a circle, and even more; it was a circle made of circles made of circles, each lying on top of the other, so that every moment was next to every other moment, all at once. And once you knew this you couldn't unknow it. Such as now the way he could see events as they were about to unfold, as if they'd already happened, because in a way they had.”

“Funny how you can measure time by pets that were not even your own.”

“It started out as kind of a joke, and then it wasn't funny anymore because money became involved. Deep down, nothing about money is funny.”

“But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough.”