“So people keep asking me what this badge is for... this badge makes me the sheriff, the sheriff of Emo town, so get your straight irons and eyeliner ready!”
“Sheriff Root: "Ask Me, I reckon it was niggers"Deputy: "How you reckon that, Sheriff Root?"Sheriff Root: "Kinda thing they do"Deputy: "What, burn two hundred people to death, right down to the bone? They do that?"Sheriff Root: "MARTIAN niggers”
“Hello sheriff, give me another nose”
“Don't get me started on the little airplane name badges," Natalie grumbled.”
“A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.”
“She was my assignment.""From The Eye?""No, from the Boy Scouts. That Witch Dating badge just kept eluding me.""Well, you must have at least three Total Douchebag badges by now, so that has to count for something.”